Tablet: A pseudo-bio-blog of a fictional character hiking the Pacific Crest Trail
Tablet is an open book. He uses his openness to make clever observations about the world. Such was the case when Table asked a store clerk where the toilet was, and he replied, "you mean the bathroom?" While urinating in a bowl full of clean water, Tablet thought to himself, "what a confused individual he must be to propagate the etymology of such a misleading noun." Surely most people do not bath in public bathrooms.
The day went on and Tablet continued to navigate his way about the city. As he did so he noticed an abundant amount of hedonists of the glutenous sort. He was amused by the ironic ass-fucking that these, humans visually mimicking hippos, seemed to enjoy. These people were injesting large quanities of carbohydrates, fats, and protein, which they clearly didn't need or use. Due to the high sodium content of their food items, these people soothed their parched throats with sweet neuro-toxic sugar water. The irony here being that these peole are told how delicious these fatty sweets were and how much they want them. Being fatty-sweet substances themselves, they had no choice but to believe this conjecture, and consequently, told other hippos the same message. Tablet then thought that this was not so much ironic as sad that theses fatty-sweet hippos were lured into believing that what they were told to eat is great, yet was actaully slowely killing them. Sadder yet, these static hippos loved those who told them about the joys of salt, sugar,and neurotoxin.
Like a camel with a broken back, Tablet had to unload his pack in order to make space. He decided to leave the city and the hippos and strangely labeled toilet facilities and expose himself to an environment where poeople lived in the woods and bears. Perhaps there he could discover how people began to coin such terms as bathroom as a place to defecate.
So Tablet ledt the city and embarked on a 2655 mile journey from Mexico to Canada.
